Hello again my friends! Because I help you and others, and teach about the romance scam, I am always looking to understand it at a deeper level from all sides.
We have all said our scammer became like our drug. Well, I believe I have identified why we felt like this. Understanding the dynamics of what I am going to share will help us avoid the “wrong” man/woman and be with the “right” man/woman in the future!
We actually became “obsessed” with our scammer because he/she was not the right man/woman for us. So, in the future when we date a man/woman, if we become obsessed with him/her, it’s our warning sign (red flag) to know he/she is not the one for us.
Please read below and let me know if this sounds familiar!
Have you ever found yourself thinking about a guy/gal… All…The…Time?
Whenever you look at your phone, you hope that you’ll see a text or missed call from him/her.
You imagine what he/she would think about every little thing you do.
You have imaginary conversations with him/her in your mind.
You don’t make plans with anyone else if you think there’s a chance you can chat, talk or see him/her.
You haven’t heard from him/her in a few hours or a few days and you start to panic. Does he/she still like you?
He/she finally reaches out and you immediately feel better.
Obsession: the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
“She/he cared for her or him with a devotion bordering on obsession”
an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.
Plural noun: Obsessions
“She/he was in the grip of an obsession and powerless to resist.”
And that is exactly what happens when you date a man/woman who is not available to you in some way, be it emotionally or physically.
You wind up in a perpetual game of cat and mouse (you’re the cat!) that never ends until you give up.
You’re always left wanting more and feeling like something is missing. You’re never satisfied except for in fleeting moments.
The longer you engage with him/her, the greater the obsession. And, since the root of obsession is anxiety, that’s how you feel all the time… ANXIOUS.
Being obsessed with someone is NOT a healthy relationship. It will bring nothing but unhappiness and poor health. If you find yourself obsessed with someone, you need to disconnect right away!
Here’s to all of us identifying the wrong one so we don’t waste time, and finding the “right one!” ❤ (((hugs)))
~D L Garren